Navigating your emotions can be difficult, especially if what you’re maneuvering with is grief. Without proper guidance, it can feel like a storm ready to pour and drown you in a flood of overwhelming emotion. The sadness it brings–the anger, the fear, the isolation, the disconnection–feels like ruthless torture, which often feels like an endless cycle.
Going against the current of grief is challenging. But what if I told you that you neither need to go against it nor fear it? What if I told you that it is possible to lean into your grief, as a gateway to freedom and wholeness, without being consumed by it? Just like a tummy that aches when it is too full, your grief is trying to tell you something. Teach you. Heal you.
Your grief is trying to set you up for success–if you allow it. Grief is an emotion that connects us with our fears, what we love, and who we aspire to become. Hence, it affects every aspect of our lives, and your relationship with grief shows up in ways you never expected. Sometimes it is past, or present, loss. Concrete loss.
Sometimes it is what you’re afraid to lose, fears that haven’t materialized quite yet but are still grounded in loss. No matter the impetus, grief is a valid emotion that makes us human. We must lean into our humanity instead of running from it, no matter how painful it may be. That pain feels more manageable with proper guidance and support.
Grief is not meant to be tamed and conquered, it is meant to be experienced. Believe it or not, grief is here to connect and to heal us, which can be manageable if you learn to ask for help, to surround yourself with communities and people who can support you
In this article, I will specifically address grief as it relates to concrete loss–whether past or present. This could include but is not limited to: loss of a loved one, a break-up, loss of a beloved animal, loss of a job, loss of identity, moving, etc.
Honor Your Feelings Today
We feel grief during our saddest moments, with tremendous pain, which makes it hard to address. Asking for help may be difficult, but it is necessary for hope to make it through this well of emotions.
Grief is like drowning in the vast ocean without anything or anyone to hold onto. But, if you don’t start swimming, you’ll never fully see the beauty of the sun. You’ll never reach the shore. The first step is taking the risk of acknowledging your grief. The rest will follow. Make this lifetime count; I’ll be here to help.
Everyone has different methods when it comes to navigating grief, but not all forms are for everyone. So, if you are struggling to deal with grief, perhaps it’s time to ask for help and get a grief consultant.
Current (Or Past) Grief May Bring Up Future Grief (A.K.A Fear of Loss)
The most common way we think about grief is in relation to concrete loss. But losing someone or something you love can be a catalyst to address another type of grief, a form that is rarely discussed/explored: fear of loss. Usually, it takes concrete loss to bring people in direct relationship to their fear of impermanence. To begin the process of reimagining your relationship to power, accountability, and boundaries.
I’ve spent the last five years guiding people through life transitions.
During that time, I have come to realize that among all the things that scare us the most, fear of loss is the most terrifying because most of us find future loss hard to predict, thus hard to control. So, to distract ourselves we bury our heads in the ground, and avoid, which may amplify our suffering. With this in mind, we have to learn how to embrace the process of grief and use it to create a future that will lead us to the best version of ourselves.
Avoid “Overcoming” Grief
As humans, it’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions. However, all emotion is connected. Love is connected to grief; grief is connected to anger; happiness is connected to sadness…so on and so forth. Naturally, it is normal to feel both grief and fear at the same time. Acknowledging these emotions is more powerful than you think. You can use them to inform you rather than letting them control you.
The feeling of grief is not always a battle needing to be won Sometimes, it can be a companion, like a long-lost friend. Once you learn that loss is not something that we should fear, you’ll discover how it can greatly impact your life in many ways. Instead of being a weakness, grief can be your strength to move forward. Thus, being aware of impermanence will help you create new beginnings and start a unique path towards spiritual well-being.
What is a Grief Consultant?
Offering support during challenging times is the main purpose of a grief consultant. We offer support to help people explore and process distressing and confusing emotions. This process helps those people who are facing grief alone. With the help of a grief consultant, you will be able to understand the grieving process and create a new relationship with the people you love. Furthermore, they can help in the following scenarios:
- If you’re struggling to identify what you need, a grief consultant will help you deal with your grief specific to your particular situation.
- If you are struggling with the change, or transition, of grief. Perhaps the hardest part of grieving is dealing with the impact of the loss.It changes you… So, a grief consultant will support you in shaping a new identity and will connect you with other resources, as needed
- Another significant help a consultant can offer is helping you set new goals. These goals can contribute to your betterment journey. It will be an excellent step in helping you transition to your “new normal” as you either return to your regular tasks or create a fresh start. The process is designed/intended to make room for you to navigate your grief. In short, it is not designed to overwhelm you.
Take note that a grief consultant will help you deal with your emotions in your own time, at your own pace, and in your own way. So, you don’t need to worry about being invalidated or needing to hurry the process.
Today, it’s my honor, and calling, to help people build lives rich in meaning and authenticity as they navigate their unique path to spiritual well-being.